I believe this problem as been debated to death elsewhere. Kudos to this thread: http://forums.intpcentral.com/showthread.php?t=2406
quote CreativeChaos (INFP):”The weakest point with the “T” for me (and this is stated in descriptions I’ve read) is that it is very difficult for me to NOT take things personally in my “real” word. It is difficult for me to be “objective” when it comes to relationships, period.”
quote Birdnest(INFP):”Yes, I think you can develop analytical thought and drop some feeling if it doesn’t help you along the way, or learn to express feeling more under certain circumstances that might not have been there before. I think you can round yourself out by adapting more of one or another types, but that your core is probably still the same underneath. “
I kinda think I am an ‘INFP’ when: I write in paragraphs, and go on rambling. I kinda of believe I was a pretty strong ‘F’ when I was younger and really emotional. Used to daydream a lot, loved reading imaginative fantasy (still do: except now I like magic realism and Patrick O’Brian), liked poetry. I probably didn’t use much ‘T’ or rational behavior until I was 19 or so. Cried all the time when young over stuff like sad guitar songs or just being spoken sternly to. Read horoscopes in the past but sticks to religion now. Like films from Wim Wenders. I become very emotional in relationships.. drinking more brings out my ‘F’ and smoking tendencies. I type as an INFP if i search for my feelings. (i’m 53% ‘F’) I use too many smilies and ‘..hmmm’s.
I kinda think I am an ‘INTP’ when: I structure my thoughts, and rationalise decisions after being unable to use ‘gut instinct’ to decide. I help ‘F’ people see the side of ‘T’ people..lol! seems like I do understand them. I still daydream, but I spend loads of time analysing and second-guessing myself using the web. I used to read bad science fiction from Asimov and read new scientist when young(hehe), and I love reading film criticism or listening to a good critical analysis. Like films from David Lynch. I am still pretty sane when drunk… I type as a INTP when I think of my working style. I write, ‘I think’ often.
someone also said that most females who can’t figure out are probably INTPs because of the social stigma associated with being a ‘T’. I do remember a few years back thinking I should use more thought so I could survive better in school. Could also be the case I am developing my inferior extraverted thinking (Te) as a result of acknowledging its usefulness in life. To be honest, I don’t know which I am.. don’t really want to settle it now. Could this be also typical of an INXP? 🙂
Surviving INFP 
One way s to figure out Ti vs Te.I know, I’m more accustomed to Te. My Fi scores are pretty high along with Ne. I could be a little bit traumatized ENFP, however. I/E is the hardest part for me. I think I have been between throughout my life with it, ie. combination of IFP and ENP since childhood. Our T when we use it is directive and looking for workable solution to the problem at hand. Heck, I’m painfully indecisive but I can stick with stuff that is important and right. For example money management has never been a major problem for me where as it can be pain in the butt for ENTPs and their Ne + Ti combination.
I’m natural science major. T in MBTi is essentially about thinking patterns not a measurement for ability. It’s been lot of fun to discover ideas and stuff.
This makes me think that I lean towards ENFP.
an INTP at their worst would have emotional outburst that can lead the INTP to believe that they are INFP, but an INFP at their worst will think that they are stupid and incompetent.
what if at my worst i have emotional outbursts and feel stupid and incompetent?
that’s exactly how i feel
The way you write, you must be INFP. 😉
I think there’s also the enneagram which might help you a bit in deciding whether you are NTP or NFP.
Heard there are more enneagram 4s & 9s in INFPs and ennegram 5 & 6 in INTPs.
But I’m an INFP 5w4.. that used to be a 9 😉
I have taken this test several times. I have been an INTP, an ENTP, or once an INFP. Since the I and the E have always been very low, it makes sence that they might change. The T has never been real strong, but I would not expect ot to jump 40%. What is going on here?
Hi Doug,
been suspecting I got a leg over to the ‘T’ camp (as opposed to you) ..haha. Well, T people get better salaries and maybe it has to do that some of the people I respect and love the most are: ENTPs, INTJs. Might be picking up too much of that darn T in their food. 😉
Some days i wake up and think crap, where is my introverted feeling? I want to write a poem. (seriously). Other days, I’m pretty ok to be a little T- especially when its work. Makes the bosses happy:)
Cheers,
ellzrae
Actually, I have the same problem in being smack in the middle between T and F. I found it frustrating that in the Briggs-Myers test you have to choose between some choices that are of absolutely equal value to me. Some questions do not make sense – “What is more important: Fairness or Compassion?” Well both are. Depends on a context! I think Briggs-Myers should be improved (or expanded) in areas where people are right on the borderline. The test is quite accurate for those who have a clear preference (I am a very clear N not an S and I never had any problems making choices in that area). It is when you are on the borderline that they should give you more options or present additional typology choices.
Well, I really want to be a writer. Like really want to be one. But I don’t know whether I am an INFP or INTP. I always score as INFP, but I have a really annoying habbit of doubting the results. The thing is, most famous writers are INFP’s and so not being one would really suck. Plus, all the other careers I considered were all under the INFP category. Now, I think you should know that no matter what personality I have, I’m being a writer. I don’t care if my writing sucks and I’m living on the streets, just so long as I can write. But anyway, it would be nice if someone could tell me from my description of me (which might be insanely biased) whether they thought I was INFP or INTP.
Here is the truth: I cry during movies and books, especially when someone has no friends or is bullied. Or is a misunderstood bully who has a bad family life. I cry when I am really happy, or when I am sad. I have nightmares about other peoples troubles and whenever I research the holocaust I cry and think that I need to make the world a better place and have nightmares where I am in the holocaust. I sometimes say random theories that have no basis f logic behind them. After people say that they are impossible and ridiculous, I always say this: If there is one thing physics has proven it is that nothing can be proven. So who cares about proof behind my theories.
Under stress I also do such things as not talk to people, once I even told someone that we shouldn’t be friends because in a few years we would just forget that we even knew each other and that relationships don’t matter. We are still friends and I apologized for my terribleness countless times, and then, even after we reunited as friends I gave her a card and a cupcake because I still felt terrible about it. This is a secret that I don’t tell many people but me and my sisters were watching the hannah montana movie as a joke and I cried during it. (I know, it’s pathetic. But she was so misunderstood). I’m also very good at seeing both sides of the story and I am not very competitive. I pity everyone even horrible people because of my strong belief that the value of ones life is not measured in how much time they have left before they die or the good that they have done, but instead in their ability to change. Which is why I would die for a complete stranger. I also feel really sad for trees. They have seen so much and are probably the wisest of all and yet they have no voice to share their virtue with the world. I pitied Tom Riddle. When I get bored, and that is a lot of the time, I often imagine an entire world with different people and stories and adventures and creatures. It’s all very fun. Anyway, I am getting off topic.
On the other hand, I am very good at math, especially geography, and I am good with physics and science. I used to be very much thinking, not so sure anymore. I have very strong views and sometimes get into a lot of arguments. Sometimes I can be very close minded and I’m not the best at talking about my feelings to anyone who I am not close to. That’s why I have translators in guidance meetings. I tell them how I feel and they tell the teacher. Whoa, I just noticed something. The first comment was posted in 2008. 3 years ago. Wow, there was a huge robbery then. Dammit. That’s so cool. I wish they would go on this website and reply to this. It would be like being greeted by a long lost friend that I have never had the pleasure to meet. When I read that, it’s like I’m going back in time. To a different world. One that I will never experience again. Anyway, tell me what you think. Oh, and ps, I also feel like an INFP when I listen to music or take walks in nature or when I am on my own.
Sorry that’s so long. And sorry I ramble about myself. And sorry for this apology.
you sound a lot like the INFP stereotype with a few of your own personal characteristics of course.
Hmm… Then my description was most definitely and terribly biased. Oh well, one day I will know, and if I don’t, well that’s life.
Nico,
I am also a writer. And it’s really easy to tell if your an infp or an intp through your writing. Infp tend to write very poetic, they put their emotions into their writing. Infp are very good with story telling like all idealist because they have such a bug imagination. Intps are very constructive with their write using details, facts, research, the list can go on. Even though both can do both! Really ask yourself what do you do more. Another thing is I’m guessing your a male? My brother to is an idealist and it was hard explaining to him that he has and F factor in his personality.. Because he felt a male shouldnt have and F in their personality. Slot of times society makes it clear that men should be more logic then have feelings. So maybe that can be an issue that’s making you think your an intp. Infp males are not like infp females so when your read about your personality they normally generalize a females perspective of themselves. I personally think your an infp but your a male so it’s always going to be split. I hope I answered your question. I’m an intp female so it was also hard for me to determain witch one I was.
at their worst, INFPs would doubt their ability, INTPs would have an emotional outbust.
oh, I also think Sociology/Economics/Anthropology would be great “mediums” as well.
I am an INxP… I can use both F and T equally… and up to this point in my life I have been a jack of all trades but find the need for more intellectual depth, so I am pursuing a PhD…but I don’t necessarily want to teach either…just to do it. I am very particular about where I live.
I find things like computer programming entirely too robotic and generally don’t like the people. While at the same time, trying to get too much into
I have found a balance in a few fields of interest… namely, the social sciences. I can use both the T for the heavier logic/math…and the F for the verbal extrapolations which are often required. I am referring to Political Science/Theory…
I am seeking a career in research with like minded and open minded people in a think tank type scenario, but trying to help the better good of society. I would HATE doing computer science/engineering/accounting or pure Math…I like English composition courses where I can write whatever I want… but HATE english literature/poetry courses where you are expected to have all this warm feeling from the author… I usually go straight to the abstract underlying philosophical, and do not like moods, costumes, blah blah blah.
Careers like Social Work/Psychology/etc… are also out for me.
Actually philosophy is extremely INxP, and if I could just be a philosopher, I would do that, but the career opportunities are a bit too eh…
Hey,
I am also a INXP i didn’t like it at first it’s funny because growing up it was hard for me to figure out who I was and why I’m here I always knew I had this big purpose in life but when I started learning about personalities I was so exited haha but then It was impossible for me to decide if I’m T or an F. It really annoyed me. I can agree with everyone here. I just came to terms that I honestly have the best of both worlds. I don’t act on my feelings I’m very cool headed I use Logic to solve my problems but at the same time I’m warm hearted I enjoy listening to people talk about the problems and finding the solution to help them out. I’ve learned to balance both personalities to live a healthy life style. INFPs have a hard time getting their lives together daydreaming about possibilities INTPs march to the beat if the own drum and find success INFPs are open minded INTPs think they have the answer to everything as much as we love the truth INFPs and INTPs both hate with criticism but being borderline it kinda makes it easier to change and move forward with many obstacles that’s my opinion maybe I was a little off subject but still I think figuring it out is a waist of time because you have strong traits on bothe sides. Don’t label your self be who you are.
Hi Valery,
i doubt figuring is a waste of time- definitely feel happier knowing who I am now. haha. Sometimes I suspect I’m an INTP gone INFP. My results are still ‘F’ but its suspiciously so close on the border these days its ridiculous. Anyway, we’re still intuitives- so all is cool either way. (tongue in cheek 😉
regards,
ellzrae
Most of my friends see me as INTP. I score always INFP (but always around 50/50). I never studied math in school but would intuitively score A’s in geometry and B’s in Algebra without study. SAT very high. I am now a playwright visual artist. But I look back at my life and think I did a lot of processing of emotions because I was very traumatized as a child and economically disadvataged. It was easier for me to get scholarships in art so I went into art. But when I went back to grad school I found most of my peers could not comprehend theory, psychology, philosophy, etc. Equally good artists but when it came to critical thinking they were as dumb as a box of rocks. I therefore conclude I am probably an INTP who has been required to do a lot of work on modulating and sublimating intense traumatic emotional affect thereby becoming INFP/INTP. But this is probably similar to Carl Jung who was INTP but did a lot of work understanding feeling, and there is enough evidence that particular traumas lead him to that investigation, where under other circumstances he would be more an Einstein. In my last relationship I was mistaken for an INFP but proved to be not spontaneously ot demonstratively affectionate but reasonable, fair, empathetic, listening, understanding, but not exactly quick to pet. When I see a pet I look at it and say “what is this creature” rather than pet it. I loved deeply and took the breakup hard with great grief but then analyzed the whole thing to death and discovered the mismatched psycho-dynamics now I can move on, in otherwards INTP, rather than pine away and hold a Teddy bear (though I did cuddle with my pillow once or twice). Jung’s types are a bit different than the Myers Brigg. In Jung’s early work I would simple be described as an introverted intuitive. Which seems more conclusive. The external sensing world has always been the biggest challenge. I can do life drawing perfectly like Leonardo (INTP) but my studio is a mess, I struggle paying bills even when I have money, and would prefer musing about philosophy than cleaning my dishes or doing laundry.
Yes… in terms of spontaneous gestures, INTPs seem to hold back far more than I would. I have asked this of an INTP & INTJ after I introduced them. Both knew they were holding back opinions and thoughts, but neither would be the first to speak or extend some warmth. The INTP i know never initiates hugs or gifts giving. (unless feeling obliged). 🙂
Wow, I can relate to you, too. I have been through massive childhood…teenage…adult trauma. But really, if I was an INFP I would probabbly be in a strait jacket by now. People look at me with this curious stare and wonder how I’m coping with all the garbage and not crumbling. People have said I am “strong” and I’m thinking… huh? Sure don’t feel that way. What in the world are they talking about? But possibly they mistake strength for the ability to process all this raitonally instead of crumbling under the pressure. However, as a child, teen and young adult I was extreemly emotional, yet also exploited. So perhaps this has softend me and made me more empethetic.. but does not necessarily mean that I an an INFP…
that’s it. It’s my childhood trauma that has made me feel guilty if im not helping someone because I have seen so much suffering. But this sensitivity and my emotional outbursts I think are more due to trauma than to a personality preference. I’m much more comfortable with logic than emotions. Since I was a kid I couldn’t even enjoy anything fictional. It just seemed like a waste of time to read it. But I loved reading informational books or “how to” books and taught myself art. When I thought about pursuing physics, what made me apprehensive was not that I wanted to do more people work, but that I fealt guilty for not doing something that was more of a helping profession. I have a lot of guilt about that but I have studied some phychology and I actually hate it. Well I hate math too. I am extreemly disorganized and but delve into planning. I thought this planning side of me meant i was an infj. but actually it’s just my way of trying to analyze goals and rationalize things as a intp. Because if I look around my house, i have stinky dishes and kids toys all over the living room and a huge pile of unfolded clothes (clean) on my bed. I mean, it’s just impossible for me to be an infj. I think this summs it up. I believe I have actually found who I am. I am an intp. I enjoy that the most 🙂
I’m sixteen and with nothing better to do, I’ve decided to figure what kind of career I can have that will make my adult life least miserable. So, I took one of the tests that tells me what persoanlity type I am, and turned out to be an INFP. Iook it again, and still came up with INFP, although with slightly less “feeling” and more “thinking”. At first I was pretty happy with my results when I learned that my personality was one that is more rare, because I’m always looking for indicators that seperate me from the masses. But upon learning that INFP didn’t coincide with my current desired profession as an architect, I started to look for reasons why I should be an INTP instead. I looked it up and both INTP and INFP have points that describe me well. Naturally, faced witht he urgent need to classify myself, I did what anyone would do, I googled it. I happened to stumble upon this site, but still find myself slightly confused. I’m definitely very introspective. Sometimes I get this out of body experience where I can’t connect my thoguhts to myself. And my Mom would attest to the fact that I always (think I) know what everyone else is thinking (although thei denial doesn’t necessarily mean that my guess was innacurate). I guess I proably am an INFP. I can definitely be emotional especially when watching “Tristan and Isolde” or “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas” and I would call myself a sympathetic person. But I’m not entirely sur ehow concerend I am about pleasing others or that I even have an “inner code of ethics”. Although I haven’t quite discovere dmy personality, this search has made me discover that I’m not entirely sold on being an architect. Maybe I should be a physchologist, I don’t know. I’d rather be a world traveller, but that rarely rake sin the dough. (I’m pretty sur eI got off topic somewhere along there. Is a characteristic of an INFP possesing the tendancy to talk about yourself too much?)
“Is a characteristic of an INFP possesing the tendency to talk about yourself too much?”
Yes.. haha..yes. 🙂
I would say INTPs, growing up, are more socially awkward for a longer time than INFPs generally are though. They are not crazy about being empathetic to other people’s feelings that much. But I think INTPs tend to stick to a few areas of specialisation although they have varied interests..makes them specialists in certain things. I can’t really put my finger to it though.
This might help you to tell which of these forums is your countrymen.
http://www.intpforum.com
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/
In response to your career choice, an INTP friend once told me that his choice of career is one that is generally not recommended for people of his type. He said that it doesn’t make it a bad fit, but he does notice that he often approaches things differently than other colleagues. If you are an INFP who is passionate about architecture you may have something unique to bring to the table that others in your field lack. There is also plenty of time to develop your T-side if you find that it is needed to be successful in your chosen path.
I feel you are probably a natural INFP, you have just taught yourself how to behave rationally. No one sticks perfectly to their given personality type
Thank you. I’m quite sure these days I’m an INFP with a moderate F/T. 🙂
I’ve always been confused which I belong to either of the two. It’s kind of funny really, ’cause most of the time, when I spend my times with my close friends and family, I tend to be a smart-ass. We talk about the stupidity of Politics, the stupidity of the world and everything else what makes the world’s (people) stupidity show. But when I’m with other people I tend to be warm and whatever. Though in my insides I’m boasting and talking to myself like a real smart-ass but I don’t let it show to those people.
So I’m always asking myself: Am I a “T” or a “F”?
After gathering several facts, questioning one’s identity and general behavior and others, I finally come to the conclusion that I don’t care whether I’m a T or a F. Really, It takes a long time for me to believe printed words made by other people when it comes to defining yourself. So, I don’t believe easily what the printed words have to say, whatsoever.
The best for me now is to live with life the way I do, and just figure things myself. The only one who beholds the answer to typical questions such as this is the beholder itself: Me, you, myself, I.
Hence, I’ll stop now. Before I start rambling like an idiot like what I’ve already done.
I toggle between these two as well. I act INTP when I’m around ignorant people. It’s rude but, when people are small talking or or blowing hot air, I feel the need to bump up my intellectual side. I start asking them critical thinking questions or quoting facts so that they can either get to the real point, or just stop being nonsensical. I also go into INTP mode when I’ve thought about something for way too long. Then I start analyzing and rationalizing my feelings, which doesn’t help me make a decision or follow through with ideas.
I’m INFP under criticism, quiet time, in my dream world, art time, and when I listen to music or do outdoor activities. When I’m exploring or in leisure, that’s when I’m most my true self – INFP.
Ellzrae, it’s only harder to be female INTP whilst you’re young. If you cultivate the “strong woman” vibe of the old silver screen you can be far more accepted and respected when you get older. Most other folks come ’round in the end and appreciate the difference, and those who prefer to stay in a closed mindset are not really worth knowing. (Oh, should I say that? Looks harder in type than it sounded in my head. So INTP of me!)
That would be nice for my INTP friend to know. She does sometimes feels like a fish-out-of-water working in a feeler ‘film production, post’ environment… haha.
Yesh! INTP are great and one of my fav types. What I really appreciate about an INTP friend is her understated reliability and her steady emotions. No emotional blackmailing rubbish with her. She listens to my emoting without attempting to ‘change’ or correct me. .
And she’s the one who by her own original example, reminds me to dress and act more like myself – and to care less for the opinions of others. She’s an INTP who rebels against conservative outlooks… 🙂
Female INTPs have it harder, that’s true…
Raspberry, I too am an INTP, and am glad to see what I feel expressed by another female of the same type. We feel like failures for not expressing our feelings, but also feel complete failures when we allow ourselves to do so.
In my life, I saw early on that I was an odd type (1%, as are the INFPs) and that I had to learn to fit into a society that required more feeling and nurturing of females, more sensible expressions, more extraversion (we are a “social species”, after all) and perhaps a more decisive method of action (Judging rather than Perceiving), so I set about learning the “other way” because I felt it would make me a better person. Now I am more a centrist in most ways, and my only strongly-expressed feature is my introversion, though only those who know me best (very few) would ever guess I’m an introvert. Mannerly sociability and a ready, warm smile covers a multitude of sins! 🙂
To those who are unsure if you’re one thing or another, or don’t know if you should be one way or another, please remember that, though this system is fantastic, and a great answer for the vast majority, it is still just a launching-off point. We are all still individuals trying our best to get through life and cope with those people and situations surrounding and affecting us. We all adapt as best we can, in the way we believe brings about the best results we can live with.
You think and feel at equal levels? Is that not wonderful?! You’re decisive yet open to the possibilities? Is that not something to strive for? You can react on a subtle, unique level that boggles the minds of everyone else, and yet can maintain that “voice of reason” in the core of your brain that keeps you from flying completely into space? Again, bravo! You like being alone, yet revel in the company of those you love, and/or those in the crowd who adore your way of thinking? The best of both worlds!
As we trudge, fly, slouch, stride, fight or dance our way to our ultimate end, it is always a good thing to remember who we are is not necessarily who we always were, nor who we will always be; this is a good thing. There is no crime in seeing the “other side”, and really feeling and experiencing it. In fact, it could make the world a better place if we all gave this a try. We INXPs all have the keen intellect and unique vantage point that allows us this option. Seems trite to suggest (maybe it really is), but do remember to celebrate your uniqueness and your similarities equally, and don’t take life too seriously; nobody gets out alive.
I think an INTP can be very emotional/weepy-sometimes overwhelmingly so, due to the fact that we are not as competent at managing the emotional nature of our relationships with others or of dealing with our own emotions. Of course we have emotions but we may not be as perceptive of other’s emotions.
I think the distinguishing feature of the INFP is that while they feel deeply, they can also recognize and deal with emotion more constructively and also communicate about it to others better. It is not a question of feeling or not feeling.
I am an INTP female in love with an INFP man and it does seem like I have a tendency to bring up a problem in the relationship or a criticism in a way that is coldly intellectual and not particularly sensitive-I hate that! And if it gets heated, he has a tendency to use his superior feeling function to hurt me/protect himself. Actually, I am probably the more emotionally vulnerable because that is where my weakness lies.
I think i can relate everyone here, especially with Michael. I mean, even now, already over 30, I’m still at that border where I cannot really decide whether I am INTP or INFP. On one side, when I took the tests (I had taken a lot in college and personally). Most of the tests say that I’m an INTP (The other being an ISTJ or ISFJ which is a far cry from the reality). On the other hand, when I read the description of an INTP and check out on INTP sites, it seem that they’re like what Michael said, too robotic. In some ways, I am very philosophical and idealistic kind of person. Even at work, I can always symphatize with people, be idealistic about things and tend to lean on the emotional side. But in the end though, the ‘thinking’/logical side almost always takes over.
One reason why the ‘thinking’ side seems to dominate is that I have to manage staffs at work and even though I can do it well – relating to them emotionally but also providing them with logical solutions – I tend to get emotionally wasted by the end of the day like “someone just shoot me” kind of feeling. It’s a great job overall, pays well but emotionally draining!
Anyway, I am looking for some job choices that fits for an INTP and INFP when I stumbled onto this site. I thought I’d share my thought. For this topic, an answer for me is that although I feel like I am INFP, at least until now I can still function as an INTP or ISTJ or ISFJ if I have to. However, by the end of the day, what I’ve learnt is that the INFP side of me always wins.
Thus the hard fact I’ve learned is, you cannot deceive yourself for long no matter how hard you try to.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s great to get insight from the guys too. 🙂
One INFP guy I know hid his INFPness behind a baiting, sarcastic slacker exterior. I didn’t really know what to make of him early on. But the guy wrote wonderful poetry on his blog (I found that out and he still probably doesn’t know I read it- it might traumatize him ;). He was very philosophical and idealistic though, which made me realise he was actually an INFP.
INTPs seem not to like talking about their feelings that much, in comparison. It kind of makes them uncomfortable, because its not within their control as much. They do feel deeply too, but hate describing it.. 😉
Coming to grips with who you are is a little bit weird for everyone, especially for people of our type.
I’m an INXP, like the person at the top, and that’s fine– There’s nothing wrong with you! 😀 You don’t have to pigeonhole yourself in one group or the other… (INTP or INFP) I think both types have their unique qualities, and if you have both your heart and your head working for you, then wonderful things can happen. (Just think: You can be LOGICAL about the the CAUSES you choose to fight for! lol)
But in all seriousness, if you’re a guy, it’s easy to detach yourself from your “F” side, for fear of being judged. A lot of what the third person on this site (Picante) said makes sense.
When I was growing up I dealt with a lot of adversity– And I won’t lie. Most of it just ate away at me. I enjoyed playing sports, but didn’t act like a jackass like half the guys on the team… I was always kind to girls and to this day have never cheated on one or treated them cruelly. (At least, on purpose, anyway.) I looked around and saw the way people tortured each other and thought “What the heck is their problem?” Why can’t people just get along and treat each other like human beings?
Eventually: All the depressive stuff, the relationships that didn’t work out, the constant pecking order battles at school and on the court etc. just really bothered me. Life seemed more than just a struggle. It was a “knock down, drag out fight.” So I withdrew: Focused on writing, reading books, video games, and penned some things that I probably should have never wrote. lol Main point: At the end of it all, I kind of changed who I was.. I was in denial. I hid my deeper emotions for fear of looking weak or just being given a hard time over it. I cried at night, and I promise you, I will not use my real name on this site! lol When I was out and about, I was an angry kid for quite awhile, and that’s what I showed the world to convince them that I wasn’t a wreck..
You’re depressed, but you refuse to admit it and deal with it. The act continued: I tried being more extrovert to keep up with everyone else. I hid my emo side, except when I was listening to music before going to bed or writing stuff in my journal. lol And the thing is, you spend this whole time wondering: “What the heck is wrong? Who am I? What’s the meaning of life? How do I help this friend out? How do we stop this world from destroying itself?” ‘When will I stop being nostalgic, or let this thing that’s been eating away at me go?” Seriously.
Anyway, self-discovery is a process that everyone must go through, and I guess that’s my main point. (sorry i deviated so much) You guys certainly are interesting, and “half of me can relate.” 😀 When I tested 50/50 (on the T/F scale) I went to the INTP website, and saw that they analyze things the way I do, but weren’t motivated in the same way. (Too robotic– Seriously, like the tin man who was looking for a heart. lol ) But then I looked a little more into “the other side” (this place being one of them) and a lot of it makes sense now. When I see you guys write about what’s going on in your lives, it’s like I’m peering into a side of myself that I shut down a long time ago, and has remained dormant ever since. Don’t be afraid to be who you are… It helps a lot of people to see this stuff– My “T side” says it’s not logical to take 25 minutes to write something that only a handful of people are going to see. But you wanna know something? My “F side” says it “feels right”, cause there’s the off chance it may help someone else out. 🙂 haha late
It helped me out. I went through a somewhat similar situation, sort of.
When I took MBTI for the first time in college I tested ridiculously far on the T side of the spectrum…. And i was entirely too proud of it! 😉 Thinking that I was a cold hearted bad ass, protected against pain by brutally incisive logical constructs…
But when I think of how much excrutiating pain and loneliness I experienced early in life, it feels very right to look back now and see how much I was reacting to stress and compensating.
After a really bad experience with my mom when I was 13, I actually drafted a contract with myself and signed it vowing that I would never share my true feelings with anyone ever again.
Of course that ‘s been one of the tough lessons I have had to learn over and over again…
But I’m glad I strengthened my T-ness (and for that matter, my J-ness and S-ness). It all really comes in handy…
But I do see how it is also important to make sure I’m not giving in to those other types at the expense of my own identity. Gonna have to work on that some more.
Thanks to you all for being you. I can’t tell you how good it feels to know I’m not the only one out there dealing with this stuff.
Oh dear, you must start a blog. You do have such an interesting way of writing (quite vonnegut! my favourite rambling author…ANYWAY..)
This is impossibly smart… I’m awed.
“INTPs tend to notice — like a light switch going off in their heads — when someone makes a contradictory statement or (and this is even more entertaining) when someone makes a statement today that, say, contradicts something they said yesterday, last month, or 14 years ago. ”
“So INFPs can tell, often without knowing why, whether someone is happier or sadder then they were last week or last month or whenever. ”
My fren, whom i suspect is an INTP fits that classic syndrome.. we had a ridiculous sms convo that went back and forth, just because she thot she sent an sms which i did not get, and i had to pacify her by telling her every sms she sent with details of time, to appeal to her logic. not sure if she is satisfied though, since I didn’t let her win. (haha..:) I do love INTPs though.. they are so clueless and smart 🙂 On the INFP part, not sure this is me. I had never really noticed it much myself though, since I rarely ask people their feelings. But I can tell if my ISFJ grandma is emoting silently as she potters around, stuff like that. But I tend to shut myself down to strangers’ feelings since I do not want to hastily judge them before I know them.
Oh my. thank you for convincing me i am INFP. In my worst breakdown days, I have been almost psychotically weepy over small stuff like nobody understanding some minor incident, that its time to leave, kill off the relationship, destroy all contacts, bomb the citadel, stuff like that. lolol. INFPS ARE EVIL. ;P
Hello. I’m not really sure how I found this blog, but if being sure was important to me I don’t think I’d ever get out of bed.
I’m an INFP (yes, that is a cry for help, thank you) and understand what you’re saying. It’s been my experience, and interaction with both INFPs and INTPs, that — unfortunately, in a way — the whole “do I think more” or “do I feel more” way to figure the INFP or INTP thing doesn’t work. Everyone feels, everyone thinks, and nobody really knows how or why (no, not even the INFJs and INTJs).
Still though, I think there are some unscientific, unsubstantiated, largely anecdotal and borderline party-game ways to get some clues. (Fortunately, most of life is all of these things so maybe I’m onto something.) For what it’s worth, here’s some stuff to throw in the air; whatever the ceiling fan doesn’t shred into a bloody pulp should be worth absorbing (or then again maybe it’s the other way around…hey look, a butterfly! Hello little butterfly…)
Where was I?
INTPs tend to notice — like a light switch going off in their heads — when someone makes a contradictory statement or (and this is even more entertaining) when someone makes a statement today that, say, contradicts something they said yesterday, last month, or 14 years ago. This is one reason why INTPs make deadly attorneys — they just keep going and going and going (and going) until they catch you, perhaps out of exhaustion, saying something contradictory (in whole or part) and then they slice away your credibility as a whole. Not very nice of them is it?
INFPs can do this, too, but they do it with people’s feelings; that is, they subconsciously compare people’s emotional reactions (or at least how the INFP interprets them). So INFPs can tell, often without knowing why, whether someone is happier or sadder then they were last week or last month or whenever. Of course, because this is a feeling and not a ‘thought’ it’s impossible to prove — and that’s why INFPs can look, well, kind of wacko about this whereas INTPs look smart.
Oh well.
Some other things…
There is an interesting concept about the “additional 4” functions; there are the mirror of the first 4. I don’t want to drone on about this concept, but there is an aspect of it that is very applicable here, called the “One Dimensional Oppositional Personality.”
In non-psychotherapist $150/hour words, this is the 5th function — and it is the opposite of the 1st function.
Still awake?
For an INTP, this 5th function is Extroverted Thinking (the INTPs 1st function is Introverted Thinking, and the 5th function is the opposite, so….see?)
For an INFP, whose 1st function is Introverted Feeling, the 5th function is….Extroverted Feeling.
The way that this One-Dimensional Opposing Personality “erupts” in life — and eruption is a better word than ‘manifest’ because it really is more of an eruption — is that it’s how each type often reacts — not responds, but reacts — to immediate stress. I’ve heard this function described nicely as the “I’m taking my toys and going home” function. Remember doing that as a kid? Well, folks who are into this concept think that we still do it, and I agree.
For INTPs, when they get stressed out and defensive and feel that their space is being stepped on, they tend to reject, very childishly, logic and reason and categories that exist “outside” of whatever they’re working on. They can act very irrationally as far as the “outside world” is concerned, obsessively focused on an internal logic that is more step-by-step than it is about how what they’re doing fits into the reality in which they live. This is one reason why really unhealthy INTPs can be, you know, freaks! They can have IQs of, I dunno, 140, but not know how to shake someone’s hand or realize that they aren’t wearing pants (to quote an infamous Einstein example).
This, as you can guess, is really wacky because INTPs are so “smart” but when they get going with this 5th function, they can do all kinds of really stupid things. And many of them do.
INFPs do the same thing — they react defensively — but they attack Extroverted Feeling structures. So they can deny that relationships exist, that relationships even matter…that social categories are anything but manipulative, and that it’s all phony and everyone’s phony and blah blah blah.
Oddly, this reaction can make INFPs — the people who would not knowingly (or at least wantingly) hurt anything or anyone — quite cynical and even cruel. I think this is one reason why many INFPs, who are under stress, can test as both INTP and especially INTJ — because INTJs are notoriously anti-social (and proud of it), and an INFP in the grip of this One Dimensional Oppositional Personality thing are surprisingly anti-social.
So I figure if you just map yourself out over one or both of the clues above, you’ll like get some separation between whether you’re an INTP or INFP.
My guess is that you’re an INFP 🙂
Oh my you just nailed it! I am going through a divorce and as I discovered yet one more extreemly repulsive fact about my ex, I instantly changed my choice of major from psychology to physics! Swung right over from being a INFP to a INTP (didn’t want to study anything with a human element in it). Not only that, but my whole disposition with my children has changed. I am normally very passive: ” now dear, that’s not very nice…” to shouting “Stop it! Cut it out!” followed with crying and apologizing because I feel so guilty for yelling at them. So there, I have switched from maybe a INFP to a INFJ (from an informing INFP to a directing INFJ… please no offence to the INFJs). The result? I’m left asking myslef… who am I? Am I becoming more my true self, or reacting to the extreeme loads of stress? Please help!
Oh geez, for the stressed or angry INFP/INTP I still see myself as both. I deny relationships exist blahblah I don’t care blah hurtful things, but step-by-step logic thing and that first description…..but leaning towards my really being an INFP now….hmm